Stupid Cow

So wrong on so many levels. There are cows wandering all over Highway One between Jenner and Stewarts Point in Sonoma County. They wander on the roadway, and because they are so mesmerized by the stunning view of the Pacific, simply don't notice or don't care that people like me have a death grip on the steering wheel while avoiding them AND avoiding the plunge off of the cliffs into the ocean. Happily, though, people like my kids are generally resuscitated from certain vomitous death by their appearance, which greatly benefits people like me.

Except one of the cows fell off the cliff and splatted fatally on the road recently. This cow, according to the owner, had a history. When she was young, she fell into a crevasse and got stuck. Mr. Owner got her out, but this time, Bossy wasn't so lucky. Mr. Owner described her as thus: "I should have figured it out when she was a heifer. She was just a stupid cow."

WHAT?

So how about klutzy kow, or accident-prone cow, or how 'bout highway cut into a cliff as rangeland, not so much? And let's not go into the drumroll feminist take: COW is a bad, bad, bad choice...