That's not an EarWorm...It's my Writing Partner

Recently, a California college student hosted a tapeworm in his brain.  A live tapeworm!  I think this could be the breakthrough to combat maladaptive self-talk. Bye-bye buzzkill voice that wrecks my personal writing party! Adios overachieving psycho inner editor- you've just been eaten.



 

 

Winter Solstice

Today is a crisp and blue December morning. I want my writing to be just like this: boundless and open and crystal clear. Winter solstice is my birthday, and this year I am celebrating the joy of words. I love to draw and paint, but now recognize that words are the medium I have always chosen first. Words are in my old diaries, journals and sketchbooks. Words have always been integral parts of my various jobs and words made up the poem first published when I was 9. Words float around me at all times and I think of them as prized possessions. Words flow out of my mouth, I gulp them down to eat and I watch them twinkle a little longer until they are defined. When I listen I am always gifted with as many words as I can snatch out of the air.  Today I paint with a fully loaded palette wherever I am whenever I want and with as many colors as I choose.

It Goes to Eleven

The Big Rock Candy Mountain is a tour-de-force of a song when played by three middle school violin players, but boy, add one out of tune cello and, well, it's really rockin! This is why the middle school member of my family chose to play last Saturday in a Festival. (That, and the extra credit points towards the second trimester report card.) So with happy thoughts and in cleaner clothes than usual, we trucked across a county line for his premier performance. We pulled in to the parking lot and wound up in a space next to another late-arriving member of the ensemble. Imagine our surprise when he got out of the car sans instrument.

 "I don't have it" was all he said.  Nigel Tufnel could not have done any better.  Fortunately, the kid bartered his lunch for a week and was able to secure a violin from a superb and imminently annoyed classmate, so the show was on.  But I came away with an epiphany of sorts.  I realize that there is a secret coded message in the movie This is Spinal Tap. "It goes to eleven" does not refer to a Marshall amp, oh no.  It refers to critical thinking skills maxing out at the middle school age of eleven!

Can you wrap my hot dog in a clorox wipe instead of a bun?

I think the little league snack shack is the headwaters of all aggressive and dysfunctional parent behaviors in kid baseball.  Could the cause be the somewhat noxious hotdog rotisserie fumes?  Something evil lurks under the nacho cheese crock-pot-warmer, because I have seen it oozing it's nasty self out from between the cracks and have become frozen in terror awaiting it's molten trajectory.

 The combination of salmonellaphobia and e-col-itis really brings up some personal and previously overlooked feelings in me, but I am still able to read a volunteer shift schedule.  My everyday face may appear a little checked out, but this is due to attempting to calculate the number of germs multiplied by years in snack shack.  This must be why the Team Mom always assumes I will not do my assigned shifts.  And assigns me her shift to work in addition to my already scheduled shifts.

But I'm getting Nacho-cheese-krafty.  I did not tell her I had my super-model friend covering for me last Saturday.  So now that she has reply-alled about my supposed miscreant lack of responsibility, I forwarded-all to my friend who did work my shift.  Let the lies be exposed!!  Bwa-ha-ha!

Germs x Snack Shack =  Attitude!!!!!!!

2 Friday the 13ths = 26 visits to Kaiser

What can I say. Yes, I made a mistake. So what? I say encouraging health and fitness to your family is a good thing. "Modeling behavior" right? The do as I do parental cheese?

I mean, clearly, had I not been looking over my shoulder at the cyclist dashing into the bushes behind me, I might have avoided the crash and my local ER on Friday the 13th. In my defense, I heard "leak" when he said he was going to get a "leaf", but that's just trivial. This was the January Friday the 13th. So I've been pretty celebratory lately what with the release from physical therapy and my leg not looking so elephant-y. Enough to ride my bike again, and suggest more fun exercise to hubby.

Did I not look at the calendar??? Last Friday was the April Friday the 13th. Yup. I encouraged him to fool around with our 9 & 11-year-old. The good news is, when the Sector 9 skateboard (longboard, actually) broke the land-speed record shooting out from under him, it looked like an excellent science fair experiment for next year--

The bad news is, he wasn't so interested in exercise the rest of the day, and his hand looked a little elephant-y. Credit to him, he still helped me lift the lawnmower out of the shed several hours later, but I fear this is what actually broke the wrist.

So only 12 more visits and we'll complete the Everyday Math Kaiser Hospital computation!

Stupid Cow

So wrong on so many levels. There are cows wandering all over Highway One between Jenner and Stewarts Point in Sonoma County. They wander on the roadway, and because they are so mesmerized by the stunning view of the Pacific, simply don't notice or don't care that people like me have a death grip on the steering wheel while avoiding them AND avoiding the plunge off of the cliffs into the ocean. Happily, though, people like my kids are generally resuscitated from certain vomitous death by their appearance, which greatly benefits people like me.

Except one of the cows fell off the cliff and splatted fatally on the road recently. This cow, according to the owner, had a history. When she was young, she fell into a crevasse and got stuck. Mr. Owner got her out, but this time, Bossy wasn't so lucky. Mr. Owner described her as thus: "I should have figured it out when she was a heifer. She was just a stupid cow."

WHAT?

So how about klutzy kow, or accident-prone cow, or how 'bout highway cut into a cliff as rangeland, not so much? And let's not go into the drumroll feminist take: COW is a bad, bad, bad choice...

Occupy Novel

I can't blog and write at the same time.

178 pages of first-time novel have been my own Occupy Tract House. Actually, Occupy waistline, Occupy bank account, Occupy spouse.

Of course it's a children's book! I've been writing, silly! For months! Blogging, not so much.

Groundhog Day

Is it possible to be back once again to third grade everyday math?
Wasn't I just kvetching about this?
AHA!
My first grader is now in third grade!

BUT what is different now, is, that sneaky Harcourt is creeping back in. Folders of yesteryear are being emptied of math mimeos...and used!
"Fidelity to the Program" has been replaced by "Some of my old materials cover it better."
Yippee!

Partial sums kiss my patout! Latice method turn into lettuce!
I feel better. Not perfect, but better. I get a do-over.

On another note, is it highly suspect that Microsoft is opening their first brick and mortar? So Apple and Microsoft, biggest purveyors of the internet and doing all business online have actual you-get-to-walk-in-and-touch stores. Retail stores. Ironic? I think that seems too soft and fuzzy. Really, tell me, is it just me?

what's Woz got to do, got to do with it...

Hearts and flowers abound while mr. 3rd grader pastes black cut-out hearts on white paper, and mr. first grade does the reverse. It is a bold move to create a valentine other than classic red with white doily.

Steve Wozniak gave parents a bold valentine the other night at a Children's Discovery Museum dinner, by stating (and I clumsily paraphrase) that our culture would not change if every kid were able to do upper level math. Our society would still be full of painters, writers, philosophers, attorneys, gardeners, etc. etc. Why expect that ALL children must be able to solve problems as an engineer would? They are not all going to be engineers, or mathematicians, or statisticians.

Thanks Woz!

... Woz love got to do with it, got to do with it....

lighting fires & shopping is the test!

Try and imagine the excitement a gift card creates! And one LOADED with big bucks- for my kids, this means a trip to the bookstore. I think the test of mastered arithmetic is for them to shop for the things they want- and figure out if they have enough money. Can your kids round up, figure tax and add in their heads? Happily, and with a little help, my kids CAN.

It was scary to see my kids light a dry leaf on fire with a magnifying glass a couple of weeks ago, but it is even scarier to think of them dependent on outside power; be that a calculator or PG & E.

just what IS a flute-o-phone?

I called my mother today, and proudly told her that her grandson had been issued a flute-o-phone during music time, and was learning to play this instrument. In between laughing so hard that she had to snuffle and wheeze, she inquired, "So, what performance of the symphony are you going to take him to so he can see it played?" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH"

I tried to explain that it is some kind of plastic hybrid recorder thingy, but by this time the only words I could make out between the "HAHAHAHHHHAHHAAAHHAHAs" was an occasional "flute-o-phone" and "bathroom".

All I can say, is that I am glad that I can laugh at this stuff- but then again, why can't our kids have real instruments?

Does spiral equal spin?

Here's a thought : As I was sorting and paper clipping together first grade Everyday Math worksheets, I realized that some of the sheets looked vaguely familiar. Like the "measuring in cms" and "addition review". Didn't I just see measuring in cm's? That awful termite in 3rd grade? When it hit me. Oh my gosh, what if "spiraling" through is code for SPIN. As in, "we can use the same little bits over and over for every grade- no new material needed, we can use the same stuff! savings! efficiency!" And we can spin it as "spiraling through"- Looky Looky! Marketing! Value added! (Get it? spiral? spin?- haha very funny EM mad publishing marketers)

Yeah, it is an odious thought.

1st grade Everyday Math Family Letter "What's my Rule?" 5.2

I get that there are rules to follow. I like rules, and use them liberally around my house- I think I am pretty clear when I dole them out, like, "Please do not climb the doorjambs. We do not live in a cage at the zoo". Or, " Eat your vegetables or you will not get dessert". So when I come across rules that are #$%*ed up, it makes me mad. It makes me wonder, "is it just me, or are these Everyday Math people messing with me?"

Last night's Family letter is all about "What's My Rule?". It concerns a little diagram of their "function machine". Students drop a number into the funnel at the top, it passes through the rule part, and comes out the funnel at the bottom changed as per the "rule" section. For example, the rule could be plus one, so drop the number one in the top funnel, it adds one in the rule part, and comes out as a two. Seems simple enough, right?

So when my first grader started grousing "I don't get it", all I could think was, "nooooo I thought I was safe till 3rd grade..." and looked at the worksheet. Seems the last example of their machine was unclear. Instead of the "missing rule" having a question mark where the rule should have been, the rule (a plus) was there. The question mark was in the place of the number. Shown inside the box as the missing rule was a "+?". That would have been ok, except that the equation was a subtraction! So with the numbers THEY provided to solve the problem, it looked like 6 +?=4. Chase was perplexed, as was I until I realized that the example needed the student to replace the rule AND the number. Two separate issues. In my opinion, the example SHOULD have been written as "??" or ?2". Then the durn machine would have worked!

This is not an easy thing to write about, and I am sorry I do not have a virtual chalkboard like Salman Kahn. But I can tell you that this morning in 1st grade, our teacher asked how homework went last night, and one kid said "there was a mistake. One problem should have been a minus". Proof enough for me!

Staten Island Chuck bit Mayor Bloomberg last year-I know why

It truly is Groundhog Day, as I am revisiting the same frustration that I felt as a child over learning math, with my child. I do remember my 4th grade teacher losing me. I didn't get it, and got left behind. And I felt really, really bad. This was the 60's- remember "new math" then?

Thought not.

Anyway, I am what is known as a visual thinker. I see the picture first in my mind. I am not a linear thinker. I do not extrapolate from abstraction generally. In other words, draw me a picture (or a diagram)! I think my son may be, too. So, when I looked at the drawing of the square with the grid inside it, (10 columns, 10 rows) on my son's worksheet, I saw that it had 65 of the little squares shaded out of the 100. The worksheet asked for the kid to name the shaded part as both a fraction and as a decimal. My son had 1.65. And smarty mcsmarty pants me says, There is no "one". "Yes there is MOM!! It's right THERE!!!" he screamed at me. And thus began my Groundhog Day.

I pleaded to the lump on the floor to please listen to me, but all I could muster from him was a snarl. This called for emergency tactics. So, I started in with my Marva.

"OK! Let's pretend I just broke my arm off into 100 pieces, and they all fell on the ground. I would be armless and look like THIS: (and I jammed my arm behind my back and made awful gurgling noises). If someone picked up a few of the pieces, say 65, and glued them back on, my arm would look like this: (and I bent my arm so my forearm and hand was still bent out of sight). I'd have a little more than 1/2 an arm, but no hand. If I were a Lego, you would need more pieces." And I got a response!!!!!! "Mom, Lego arms only have 2 pieces". So, I say, "Right! one piece in this case would be half or one piece, 2 pieces would be the whole ARM. So, 100 pieces would be MY whole arm. Then it would be ONE arm. 50 pieces would be half of my arm".

The lump was actually looking at me when he reached over and corrected his paper.

Only 65 of the squares were supposed to be "there" and counted, but the whole square WAS still there. I know, logic and following instructions is the way to go, but when the picture brain takes over, what is one to do?

marvelous Marva fractions

I snatched this out of the ether over the weekend- it is a wonderful explication/explanation of what "fraction" is. It is a demonstration from Marva Collins' mathematics program. Marva is also from Chicago, (like EM) and has her OWN teaching methods of math. And has some marvelous cred, if you google her! I'll paraphrase (and skip the footnotes):

The prefix FRAC is shared with FRACTURE, which means that something, such as a bone in the human body, has been broken. A fraction means just that; that something has been divided into parts. The top number of a fraction is the NUMERATOR. The prefix NUM is shared with the words NUMBER and NUMERAL. These words tell us how many. The line under the numerator is the FRACTION BAR, and it always means DIVISION. The bottom of a fraction is called the DENOMINATOR. The prefix, DE NOM in the French language means "of its name". In Spanish, the words DE NOMBRE have the same meaning as DE NOM. In English, the religious group called Protestants includes Baptists, Calvinists, Presbyterians, Methodists, and more. To be specific, a Protestant may identify the DENOMINATION to which he, or she, belongs. The prefix DE NOM, therefore, means WHAT KIND.

example: 7/15

What kind of fraction is this? The kind of fraction is 15ths, written as fifteenths. Whatever it was that was a whole, such as a pie, has been divided into 15 parts. How many fifteenths? There are 7, written as seven, fifteenths in the fraction. In this fraction, 7 is to be divided by 15, and we know that because the line under the 7, the fraction bar, means division.

Why is this important to know? Defining the meaning of words helps us to understand what is being discussed.

Additionally, the significance of the denominator is better grasped when one considers that a group of 7 tigers may be added arithmetically to another group of tigers to produce 11 tigers in all. Adding the two groups did not magically change them into a different type of animal. But a group of 7 tigers may not be added to a group of palm trees, because these are different kinds of living things. Fractions can not be added unless the denominators are of the same kind (like tigers). Fractions may be added when they are the same kind of fractions. And, when fractions are added with the same denominators, they do not become a new fraction.

Was that not interesting and helpful?!!???????

Here's what Marva Collins says, "On the day of victory, nobody is tired!"

http://www.marvacollins.com/biography.html

I can't see the math?!!

I am trying to pay attention. Really. But there comes a time when even the most patient (ok, you are right. I am not the most patient) person becomes a little challenged. I am embarrassed to say that I could not see my kid's homework last night. Perhaps because I thought the model being used for measurement was the drawing of a fat queen termite at the top of the worksheet, which as I may have mentioned in a previous post IS a recent vexing personal problem. Termites, and the bloodsu-oops operator of the pest service.

So when I began having apoplexy over the instructions for my son to measure the 5 mm termite at the BOTTOM of the worksheet, I kept insisting that the queen termite was 1) not at the bottom of the page and 2) she as WAAAY bigger than 5mm. Which brought on my usual string of grousing about the math not even giving correct instructions, etc etc. And began to get cranky when I couldn't figure out why my student was rummaging in his closet instead of doing homework.

"What are you doing in there!" I yelled. "Come out of there! You're supposed to be doing homework!" To which he replied, "Just a minute Mommy. I'm getting something for you."

"I mean it, right -what?" "You have something for me?"

He slowly backed out of his closet.

In his hand was a small magnifying glass. Holding it over the worksheet, he said, "Mommy, the termite is right THERE above the measuring stick. Can you see it now?"

Arrrgh. It was in the middle of the page- I swear it was not the bottom!! Happy Friday!

A little more back story (not that anyone asked)

Having kids has improved the taxonomy skills of the ole' grey matter. So, say, for instance when thoughts of unpleasant school meetings spring to mind, instead of being routed to the formaldehyde pickle jar labeled "important and interesting current events to keep up front", this thought is immediately routed to the pickle jar labeled "unidentifiable yucky stuff back of fridge forever".

I appreciate this memory upgrade most of the time- as it helps me stay focused on the REALLY important stuff- like, "what time is pick-up today?" and "can that dude from Western Pest be serious with that quote???" So, I started this blog as a gentle reminder that I did open my big trap about my feelings of malaise and that I did have a meeting with three really hard-working teachers and one caring principal. (honk twice if you want me to post my letter/agenda from the meeting).

But I wound up leaving feeling bad. It became crystal clear that this is the curriculum for the next seven (7) years. And that it will be used. And that it is my choice to figure it out. My bigger more "global" questions, like, "what long-term data supports this curriculum to adequately prepare students for college (or high school! or middle school!) in a global setting"

and "what criterion was used to choose this program over the other math programs approved by the state of California for use" (I believe EM was rejected the two previous times it was submitted to this state for approval) have been referred to the School District Education Specialist. I did decline her invitation to schedule a time for a meeting, but I did ask for written data. And so I wait.

let's try to link more math crunching

It is shocking to be a party of one having such a tee-rific time researching math, so, why not

share? http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/curriculum/2009/03/a_skirmish_in_the_math_wars_de.html

Sorry, but this is the only hotlink I could paste- It is an interesting showcase of the math algorithms being taught right now in Dixie School District!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr1qee-bTZI

Salman Khan needs to be in charge of all math. forever.

Legomania rules supreme in my house- but the good news is that the ant trail is being obliterated by the Snape-driven-tower-of-StarWars-doom-mobile. The bad news is that my dishwasher is also being obliterated.

I linked to the Khan Academy at the bottom of this blog. This site is absolutely the best math teaching tool I have run across. I lovelovelove Sal. His easy and clear explanations and use of his "chalkboard" have made my supplemental math explanations possible!

duh. why talk about Everyday Math

Here goes:

My children's elementary school district just adopted a new math curriculum. The program is called Everyday Math, and it is here to stay for the next seven years. I am critical of Everyday Math. I became critical while trying to help my third-grader with "partial sums addition". I do not feel that there is a benefit or advantage to using this method (algorithm) over traditional addition. I am not happy that the "learning kit" my child received included a calculator. As the school year is unfolding, I am looking more closely at what is being taught, what is yet to come, and how I can supplement.